Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm too high and old for this...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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