Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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