they need to just BURY HIM!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
