Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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