Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
