I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
