We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
