some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
