Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
