I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
