The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
