As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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