Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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