i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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