I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize
