i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
