So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
