She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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