Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
