Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
