He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
