we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
