just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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