Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he shaved USA in his pubs
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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