Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
