I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize