I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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