Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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