I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
His nipple licking is glorious
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
