omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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