Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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