its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
