I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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