Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
