I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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