Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
