careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
