Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How naked do you want me to be?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
