I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When are your genitals available?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
