Dual....:-)
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
