someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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