You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When did angry sex become our thing?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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