You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
