But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
