Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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