I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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