my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
