That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
