So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
