Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
