If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
