Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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