the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
