I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
