Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
