I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
