look no pants
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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