NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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