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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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