If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
