dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
