Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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